It’s halloween

It was a clear day approaching Halloween and pumpkins where starting to appear. They are set with that one look frozen on their face. It was a surprise to see a pumpkin in the bar frozen in shock, in their previous six meeting the men in white had lost, (They were chasing the chance to get close to Ireland who have won twice against the men in black in the last six, only saying),this time they’d won. That's enough of that, we all know we'll have to listen to that for years to come.
Malone U18s where out to play maybe it was just the time of year but the players were starting to resemble, The Addams family & The Munsters mix (Players look up THE MUNSTERS, this isn’t a reference to Munster rugby team), and every other scary spook, ghoul or horror slasher monster you’ve previously seen. So there was Kick off and let’s just say all on site and eye witness reports say it was UGLY rugby from there on in. Makes writing this a doddle not. I’ve been told there was a scrum! So the front row of Lewis “T Rex" Brown, Sam “Uncle Fester jr" Green, Matthew “chucky doll" Murray. Second row Ross “Herman Munster" McGrath, Stewart “Lurch" McKendrick. Back row Callum “Pennywise" Ballentine, Patrick “DRACULA” Phelan, Theo “Hannibal Lecter" Slaughter. Not a group you want face even if you don’t link them to the scary season.
The ball is easily won by this formidable group then it’s out through the backs. Aaron “Jack Torrance" McShane ,to Nathan “Michael Myers” Murphy, the captain Conor “Captain Spaulding" Henry, Daragh “Jason Voorhees" Doonan, Fergus “Freddy Kruegar" Wilson , Dillon “Ghost face" Hollinger, Timothy “Bruce (the shark)” Cunnane . You should now have the picture not only the Rugby was ugly. This was a team with last minute changes and returning players and all just waiting to click . Others were out injured and we'd two on the side not 100% Oran “Igor (drags the leg) O'Neil , Eoin ”werewolf" Lynn.
Believe Uncle Fester , Morticia Addams, Lily Munster, Eddie Munster (with a beard) , Cousin ITT, Sasquatch, to name a few where also present some running the line and others coaching but like all these characters from the black and white era NO WIFI to update those that couldn’t make it. Maybe SASQUATCH can be shown again. REMEMBER I wasn't there I can only go on eye witness accounts so make your own minds up. I understand Eddie Munster was fracturing at some of the referees decisions
I’ve one piece of video evidence (yes just the one, it must have been an ugly game). The pack and that’s what they were, a marauding pack have fought hard in the ruck Jack Torrance reaches through the door gets ball in hand and passes to Michael Myers he jinxes left then in true murderous fashion cuts through the castle dwellers like a knife and scores the try.
So what else have I been told. Lineouts went well even if after another last minute quick run through. With good protection from the pack Lurch was taking ball cleanly from Uncle fester Jr throws and stealing carrick throws. All videos to prove he is just raising himself onto his tip toes have been destroyed as I believe it just too disturbing to see someone stretch that far. Also he has collected Ted the ball on his own five metre line and like a true forward ran straight and then a bit more and then even more 70 metres I’m being told, it only came unstuck as he became aware he had gone so far just running he thought he was a back and cut inside to sidestep the fullback. As a result he was tackled and a penalty was given (No. 16 for Carrick socks shorts just didn’t have the shirt) Ref.Captain spaulding wasn't allowed to take a quick one but say no more.
Chucky came off after another fine display this was to allow the werewolf on ( more concerns over spectators safety as it looked like he was going to break his leash) Once on it was same old story ball in hand hunt out the opposition run over and eventually slowed to point of getting ball back to his own team. After Jack Torrance forgot what size he was and dived in to get a ball that had shot out the rear of the scrum and ended up with a few of the pack on top of him apparently not for a group let’s get warm huddle, play continued and Jack Torrance became egor the bat flapping around on the ground. In true Malone fashion of development Eddie Munster ran on and dragged his pet bat from the field of play to ensure uncle fester Jr was less inhibited in his run to the try line. Igor came on put up a good show even if a bit “hammy”. Do I or don’t I? what else have I been told, allegedly Freddie Kruegar forgot to take that glove of in this match and when the grip tightened to keep the ball safe the blades burst the ball allowing it to slip through the fingers just before the try was scored, it did happen before Carrick tried to turn him into the headless horseman of sleepy hollow with a stray boot to the head.
We’ve all seen the movies the peasants turn up at the evil castle with pitch forks to reap revenge. The monsters came to the castle fortress this time no weapons just a will to win a hunger for the game not a slicked gelled unit that have all played together regularly as stated previously squad members sick others away some just returning from early season injuries. But a team who are good enough to play Ugly rugby but still win. Well done all.
Man of the Match Stewart “Lurch “ Mckendrick

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